My happy girl!
Passed out after too much fun in the sun
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Since it's been so long...
Here are two cute recent pics that I love. I promise I'll do a real post soon!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It's been a LONG 2 weeks...
Again, this post is all about the boob...and it's a LONG one. Please ignore it if you're not interested.
physically, emotionally, mentally....OY. If you didn't see my previous post, we've had some serious issues in the breastfeeding department over the past two weeks. And, it really hasn't gotten much better. *sigh*
I knew something was seriously wrong and I needed to do something about it when feeding Bella really started to feel like a chore, and I was dreading it every time. I would literally feel sick to my stomach before each feeding with the anticipation of not knowing how she was going to react while nursing. Is she going to latch on? How long will she latch for? Is she going to pull off and start screaming now? If she does start screaming, will I be able to get her to latch back on and finish the feeding, or am I going to have to defrost a bottle of frozen BM (breastmilk)? If you couldn't tell...it's been torture.
I've been so emotionally drained by the end of each day. I've been so stressed about all of this, and it's on my mind 24/7. I can sit here and cry just *thinking* about not being able to nurse Isabella anymore. It makes me SO incredibly sad that it hurts my heart. I know some people may think I'm being dramatic or over-reacting (which, I probably would have thought of myself before I had a baby) I just love my little girl so much, and I love breastfeeding her just as much. It just feels so right to me, and it's such a special time spent just the two of us. I can't imagine having to give that up.
I finally decided that something needed to be done (after Googling and searching every. single. website. out there to see if I could pinpoint the problem and how to fix it), and we needed to get some help. So, I called a lactation consultant that a lot of friends had recommended and made an appointment for this morning. We ended up being there for over two hours, and it was so great! The woman that we saw was so nice and super helpful. It really is amazing how much there is to know/learn about breastfeeding. I'm SO glad I went to see this woman, and we now have a 'game plan' as to how I should feed Bella for the next few weeks.
Come to find out, within 10 minutes of us being there, she was able to tell me that Isabella is only in the 15th percentile in weight for breastfed babies (apparently there's different scales of growth for breastfed babies vs. formula. Who knew!) For some reason, she started only really getting the watery skim milk while feeding, and not eating long enough to get to the fatty/creamy part of the milk that contains most of the calories. So, while the 'skim milk' is filling her up enough to feel somewhat satisfied...it's not giving her all the nutrients and calories for her to really grow and stay energized. (Of course, when she tells me this, I am overcome with mommy guilt, and I feel like I've been starving my baby for the past month or so...even though I didn't know it. :-( I just feel so awful.)
Because of this, Bella's become very discombobulated (her exact words) at the breast, and needs to be 're-booted' all over again on how to enjoy nursing and be efficient at it. So, for the next few weeks, I need to bottle feed her the pumped breastmilk that I have, to make sure she's getting enough of the calories she needs to get a little chubbier. :-) Then, we'll start working on nursing again, when she's ready for it and on her schedule. (She's already calling the shots around here! lol) Apparently, the more babies (and mommies) are stressed out and fighting at the breast, the more they'll pull away and shut it out completely...which I definitely don't want happening! So, now we'll just go from here and take things slowly. The most important thing to me is making sure my baby is healthy and happy, and I plan on doing that, no matter what it takes!
Sooooo, that's what been going on in my life, in a nutshell. Sorry that explanation ended up super long, and I appreciate it if you've gotten this far! :-)
Oh yeah, AND, if things aren't stressful enough right now...I go back to work in a week and a half. Definitely dreading and sick to my stomach over that day. I can't even think about it. Can't we just win the lottery or something?! Seriously.
physically, emotionally, mentally....OY. If you didn't see my previous post, we've had some serious issues in the breastfeeding department over the past two weeks. And, it really hasn't gotten much better. *sigh*
I knew something was seriously wrong and I needed to do something about it when feeding Bella really started to feel like a chore, and I was dreading it every time. I would literally feel sick to my stomach before each feeding with the anticipation of not knowing how she was going to react while nursing. Is she going to latch on? How long will she latch for? Is she going to pull off and start screaming now? If she does start screaming, will I be able to get her to latch back on and finish the feeding, or am I going to have to defrost a bottle of frozen BM (breastmilk)? If you couldn't tell...it's been torture.
I've been so emotionally drained by the end of each day. I've been so stressed about all of this, and it's on my mind 24/7. I can sit here and cry just *thinking* about not being able to nurse Isabella anymore. It makes me SO incredibly sad that it hurts my heart. I know some people may think I'm being dramatic or over-reacting (which, I probably would have thought of myself before I had a baby) I just love my little girl so much, and I love breastfeeding her just as much. It just feels so right to me, and it's such a special time spent just the two of us. I can't imagine having to give that up.
I finally decided that something needed to be done (after Googling and searching every. single. website. out there to see if I could pinpoint the problem and how to fix it), and we needed to get some help. So, I called a lactation consultant that a lot of friends had recommended and made an appointment for this morning. We ended up being there for over two hours, and it was so great! The woman that we saw was so nice and super helpful. It really is amazing how much there is to know/learn about breastfeeding. I'm SO glad I went to see this woman, and we now have a 'game plan' as to how I should feed Bella for the next few weeks.
Come to find out, within 10 minutes of us being there, she was able to tell me that Isabella is only in the 15th percentile in weight for breastfed babies (apparently there's different scales of growth for breastfed babies vs. formula. Who knew!) For some reason, she started only really getting the watery skim milk while feeding, and not eating long enough to get to the fatty/creamy part of the milk that contains most of the calories. So, while the 'skim milk' is filling her up enough to feel somewhat satisfied...it's not giving her all the nutrients and calories for her to really grow and stay energized. (Of course, when she tells me this, I am overcome with mommy guilt, and I feel like I've been starving my baby for the past month or so...even though I didn't know it. :-( I just feel so awful.)
Because of this, Bella's become very discombobulated (her exact words) at the breast, and needs to be 're-booted' all over again on how to enjoy nursing and be efficient at it. So, for the next few weeks, I need to bottle feed her the pumped breastmilk that I have, to make sure she's getting enough of the calories she needs to get a little chubbier. :-) Then, we'll start working on nursing again, when she's ready for it and on her schedule. (She's already calling the shots around here! lol) Apparently, the more babies (and mommies) are stressed out and fighting at the breast, the more they'll pull away and shut it out completely...which I definitely don't want happening! So, now we'll just go from here and take things slowly. The most important thing to me is making sure my baby is healthy and happy, and I plan on doing that, no matter what it takes!
Sooooo, that's what been going on in my life, in a nutshell. Sorry that explanation ended up super long, and I appreciate it if you've gotten this far! :-)
Oh yeah, AND, if things aren't stressful enough right now...I go back to work in a week and a half. Definitely dreading and sick to my stomach over that day. I can't even think about it. Can't we just win the lottery or something?! Seriously.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
*insert foot in mouth*
Just an FYI - this is a post all about breastfeeding, boobs, and all that good stuff. If you don't care to read about it or aren't interested, then just skip this post...I won't be offended. ;-)
Remember how I said the other day how well breastfeeding has been going for Isabella and me? And, remember how much I said I LOVED it?? Well, apparently I jinxed myself...and I have NO idea what to do now. :-(
Over the past 3 days, Isabella has decided that my boobs are the devil. But, they're not the devil ALL the time, just to clarify. She still loves them first thing in the morning (when they're super full from not feeding all night), and during the first 2-3 minutes of nursing on each side. After that, it's like my milk is on fire or something. She screams bloody murder. It's killing me. She screams. I cry. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I don't know what to do.
And, the most frustrating thing, is that as soon as I break down and end up giving her a bottle of BM (because I can't stand to listen to my poor baby scream anymore), she sucks it down like it's the best thing EVER. But, if I try and put her back on my boob after she's calmed down a bit...enter the screaming again. It's the worst feeling.
So, I've been reading up and Googling like crazy, trying to find a solution for this problem, that literally came out of nowhere...
Anyways...so this has been my life the past couple of days. I've been so upset and crying a lot...especially since I've also been stressing about going back to work and sending her to daycare. Not a good combination...for mom or for baby.
Have any of you ladies out there experienced something similar? Any tips/advice?? I would REALLY appreciate it!!
Remember how I said the other day how well breastfeeding has been going for Isabella and me? And, remember how much I said I LOVED it?? Well, apparently I jinxed myself...and I have NO idea what to do now. :-(
Over the past 3 days, Isabella has decided that my boobs are the devil. But, they're not the devil ALL the time, just to clarify. She still loves them first thing in the morning (when they're super full from not feeding all night), and during the first 2-3 minutes of nursing on each side. After that, it's like my milk is on fire or something. She screams bloody murder. It's killing me. She screams. I cry. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I don't know what to do.
And, the most frustrating thing, is that as soon as I break down and end up giving her a bottle of BM (because I can't stand to listen to my poor baby scream anymore), she sucks it down like it's the best thing EVER. But, if I try and put her back on my boob after she's calmed down a bit...enter the screaming again. It's the worst feeling.
So, I've been reading up and Googling like crazy, trying to find a solution for this problem, that literally came out of nowhere...
- Reflux - I really don't think this is the issue (but, I could be completely wrong.) The main reason...she takes a bottle perfectly fine and is happy and full afterwards with no problems. She doesn't spit up much at all...which I know isn't really a sign, and babies can have reflux without spitting up at all. She has no problem laying flat on her back after she's done eating. She doesn't arch her back like she's in pain or anything.
- Over-active supply - That is, my milk is coming out too fast and strong for Bella, and she can't handle it. This isn't the problem either. I've tried different positions while feeding her to see if this was the issue, and she screamed no matter what.
- Under-active supply - I'm thinking this might be the problem. She does perfectly fine when my milk first comes out, because it always comes out at a good/fast pace when she first starts eating. Then, after the first 2-3 minutes, it starts to slow down a bit and she has to work a little harder to get it out...hence the screaming, b/c it's pissing her off and she doesn't want to work for it.
Anyways...so this has been my life the past couple of days. I've been so upset and crying a lot...especially since I've also been stressing about going back to work and sending her to daycare. Not a good combination...for mom or for baby.
Have any of you ladies out there experienced something similar? Any tips/advice?? I would REALLY appreciate it!!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
*Miscellany Monday*
I'm sorry I've been such a bad blogger lately. It just seems like every time I sit down on the computer to write a post, I just can't think of anything fun/interesting to write about...and then Isabella wakes up from her nap. So, I figured MM would be a great post to update what's been going on with me, and to just be random...because, if you don't know by now, I love to be random. ;-)
**
* Did mention how well breastfeeding has been going for me and B?? Like, I love it...L.O.V.E. And, before I had Bella, I never thought I would say that! I was very laid back about it before she was born, and was planning on going with the flow...if it worked, great...if it didn't, we'd go with formula. No big deal. Now? I have such an attachment with breastfeeding Bella, and I enjoy it so much, I don't even like it when Hubs has to give her a bottle of breast milk. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Don't get me wrong, it definitely hasn't been easy, that's for sure. The first 3 weeks alone...with the 'omg-I-think-my-nipple-is-on-fire' feeling when she latched on, and simultaneously slamming my foot on the ground so hard and screaming out loud from the pain...was enough to make me quit. But, I didn't...and I'm so glad I didn't. Because you know what? One day (about 3 1/2 weeks in), I was feeding her and it just hit me..."Whoa. My nipple doesn't really feel like it's going to fall off anymore!" I couldn't believe it. And now, it doesn't hurt...at all. I'm proud of us. :-)
* Isabella has finally been giving me regular smiles and 'talks' to me all. the. time. now. It's THE cutest thing ever!! I've been trying to get some good pictures/videos of her doing it, but of course every time I break out the camera, she just stares at me and does nothing. *lol* Typical. But, I did get 1 or 2 cute videos of her cooing and talking last week. I'll have to upload those sometime this week!
Happy Monday, everyone!! :-)
**Edited to add a few more randoms.
* Isabella is 2 months old today! I can't believe it. I know I say this every time, but seriously...WHERE has the time gone?! I'm going to do a little photoshoot with her tonight, so I'll post those pics/updates sometime this week.
* I go back to work exactly 3 weeks from today. Again, I can't believe it. WHERE has the time gone?! How did 12 weeks go by so. damn. quickly.??? I can't even really think/talk about it because it makes me cry. How am I going to drop my little baby off at daycare with a stranger?! Moms - please tell me it's going to be OK, and that gets easier over time. I'm seriously kind of freaking out over here.
* We celebrated Isabella's first Easter last weekend. It was a great day! We had to drive all over the state to see all of our families, but, it wasn't too bad...and B was such a good girl the entire day! Here's a few pics from our weekend:
Somebunny Special :)
Mommy & Bella
Passed out
Family pic
Happy and smiling for daddy!
* I'm so glad the weather is finally getting warmer around here! It's been no fun being cooped up in the house all day when it's rainy and cold outside. Bring on spring/summer!!
* Did I tell ya'll (I love saying 'ya'll', even though I'm not from the south. :P ) that my SIL is pregnant again?! The SIL that just had her first baby the past September! Craziness. And, they're pretty sure they're having another boy! I can't believe this Thanksgiving/Christmas there's going to be THREE new babies to celebrate with. I'm so excited! :-)
* Honestly...I love Isabella SO much, I can't even explain it. She's such a sweet baby, and she's SO good. I don't know how I got so lucky. I had a pretty great 9 months during pregnancy, and now I have a great baby. I thank my lucky stars every single day for being so blessed. (I swear I'm not trying to be an AW or anything...I'm just so thankful.)
* Speaking of loving Isabella...you know what I don't love so much?...the amount of poop/pee that comes out of this little girl!! lol Seriously, it's insane. I've had enough blowouts in the past couple weeks to last me a lifetime! And yesterday, her diaper was so full (I had just changed her not even 3 hours earlier!), that when she peed, it came out the sides of the diaper all over my legs. Thankfully she was sitting on ME, and not on the couch or something!
Question - Is it crazy that my 2 month old is having to wear size 2 diapers already?? I mean, she's not a big girl or anything, she just goes to the bathroom that much sometimes that her diaper is SO full it can't hold it all! During the day, I change her diaper roughly every 3 hours, sometimes more, before she eats. Should I be changing her more often?? Or, is going up a size in diapers the right move?
* Sorry, enough of the poop/pee talk. But, that's been my life lately. Glamorous, no? ;-) Don't worry...I love every minute of it! I really do! Because, how can you not love this sweet face?...even when she's pooping/peeing all over you. :P
* Did mention how well breastfeeding has been going for me and B?? Like, I love it...L.O.V.E. And, before I had Bella, I never thought I would say that! I was very laid back about it before she was born, and was planning on going with the flow...if it worked, great...if it didn't, we'd go with formula. No big deal. Now? I have such an attachment with breastfeeding Bella, and I enjoy it so much, I don't even like it when Hubs has to give her a bottle of breast milk. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Don't get me wrong, it definitely hasn't been easy, that's for sure. The first 3 weeks alone...with the 'omg-I-think-my-nipple-is-on-fire' feeling when she latched on, and simultaneously slamming my foot on the ground so hard and screaming out loud from the pain...was enough to make me quit. But, I didn't...and I'm so glad I didn't. Because you know what? One day (about 3 1/2 weeks in), I was feeding her and it just hit me..."Whoa. My nipple doesn't really feel like it's going to fall off anymore!" I couldn't believe it. And now, it doesn't hurt...at all. I'm proud of us. :-)
* Isabella has finally been giving me regular smiles and 'talks' to me all. the. time. now. It's THE cutest thing ever!! I've been trying to get some good pictures/videos of her doing it, but of course every time I break out the camera, she just stares at me and does nothing. *lol* Typical. But, I did get 1 or 2 cute videos of her cooing and talking last week. I'll have to upload those sometime this week!
Happy Monday, everyone!! :-)
**Edited to add a few more randoms.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)