In case you didn't know, Isabella has been going to daycare since she was about 3 months old. It kills me to send her every day, and I would do anything to be a SAHM, but, it's just not financially possible right now. Hopefully someday.
Anyways, so with that said...
We've been really happy with our daycare choice, and every day I hear nothing but great things from her teachers about how well she's doing, and how much everyone loves her. That makes me one happy mama.
The one issue I've since since day one, though...the school nurse. For some reason, she feels the need to get way too involved in Isabella's daily routine/diet/life. And, she seems to think that talking to me like I'm an ignorant child, rather than Bella's mother, is a good approach to things.
Yeah, notsomuch.
Things started getting stressful for me less than a month after she started going there. This nurse seemed to think she knew my child better than me, and with that, she started telling me that I needed to give B more breastmilk in her bottles that I sent every day.
Excuse me? Am I her mother, or you? Let's get this straight...
And for the next few months, she would bring it up again, and again, and AGAIN.
"I think you should start giving her 4 1/2oz. I think she's still hungry, she needs 5oz. You should probably start giving her 5 1/2 oz."
I drew the line when she told me that she needed 6oz bottles. Apparently she didn't hear me when I told her that B loves to suck. It doesn't matter what it is...bottle, binky, finger...she just has that innate need to suck. Just like many infants do.
So, from the first day of daycare, I made sure to tell her teachers...as soon as she's done with her bottle, you need to give her the binky. She used to drinking at her own pace (from mama), and by sucking down her bottle so quickly, she doesn't realize she's full yet. Hence the binky. After about 5 minutes or so, she's usually completely content, and good to go for another 3 hours or so. End of story.
Well, after I started yes-ing her to death (but really completely ignoring what she was saying and bringing in bottles filled to the amount that I knew was good enough), she finally stopped bringing it up. It only took 4 months or so.
Now? Her latest thing she's been hounding me about since the day B turned 6 months old...giving her rice cereal. Which, coincidentally, the day she turned 6 months old, I said I didn't want her having. I was fine with them giving her the oatmeal/barley cereals they have, but, I just didn't want her having the rice. (It doesn't matter what my reasons are. I shouldn't have to explain myself and defend every decision I make for my daughter. Just sayin.)
Anyways, just like the breastmilk issue, she feels the need to bring it up 392 times, asking me over and over if it's ok if they give her rice cereal.
Apparently I wasn't clear the first 391 times I told her no.
Fast forward to this past Friday...
I walk into her classroom to find two of her teachers changing her diaper/outfit, since she had a blowout and poop was literally up her back. I didn't bat an eyelash, since that's a somewhat usual occurrence around our house (even though it's much less frequent than it used to be.) But, it comes with the territory of having a breastfed baby.
So, I don't think I'm in the room for more than ten seconds before the nurse (who was already in the room) says, (in her flustered/annoyed voice):
"Can we start giving her rice cereal, please?!"
I mean, really lady? You do not. give. up. EVER!
She seems to think that by her having a little rice cereal a few times a week, that that will bind her up, and she won't have blowouts anymore.
Seriously? You don't think the bananas/apples/oatmeal and all the other 'binding' foods she eats are good enough? Rice cereal is going to be the magic trick? Please.
At this point, I'm so fuming and frustrated that she's still asking me about this, just staring at me, waiting for an answer. So, I spit out my usual "I'll have to talk to my husband and let you know" line, and run out of there as fast as possible.
Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of confrontation. My stomach was literally in knots all weekend thinking about what I was going to say to this woman today, and how I could go about getting my point across, without telling her off and making things even more awkward.
But, seriously? Who does this woman think she is? I highly doubt I'm the first mom that she's talked to this way, either. I don't know how she's gotten away with it for so long. And? She talks down to the other teachers, as well. It drives me IN-sane. It's like she has to have control, and if everyone doesn't bow down to her and agree with everything she says, then we're all wrong.
So anyways... I swear I have a point, and there's an end to this post soon.
I ended up talking to her teachers today...who, by the way, I totally love, and are on my side...and they assured me that it's not just me that she talks like this to, and they're not worried about B or anything. And, of course, just as we're about to leave, The Bitch walks in the room.
So, her main teacher enthusiastically chimes in that B ate great today, and that she tried little bites of pears, apples, and bananas this weekend. (Instead of purees.) And, of course, what does she say?
"Oh, so did you decide on the rice?"
I looked her right in the eye, and I say...
"Yes. And, we're going to stick with our original decision of no rice cereal. Thanks."
And, with that, she gives me her typical smirk/smile, trying to hide the fact that she's annoyed with my answer.
And, I? Turned around, and completely ignored her after that.
I mean, do you think I finally got through to her?! I mean, this is getting absolutely ridiculous. Oh yeah, and, my husband and I definitely plan on talking to the director about all of this. I don't appreciate being talked to the way she does, and, as Isabella's mother, I deserve a little respect.
The end.
Phew! I'm pretty sure that was my longest post of text yet. THANK YOU, if you got this far! ;)
7 comments:
UM I'd be pissed. Nurse or not, you know your child best, you are her mother.
I'm pretty sure Landon is bigger than Bella (he's 24ish lbs and my guess is 27.5-28 inches long), and in the rare event that he does get a bottle, he almost never takes more than 3-4 oz. Sometimes 5 if he's really hungry, but that's super rare. She was wrong to tell you to give her 6 oz bottles! That's a lot of milk for one feeding!
We gave L rice cereal, but honestly, after reading more about it, we stopped and I don't plan on giving it to the next baby. I like the oatmeal much better. Also? Rice cereal never stopped my kid from having huge poop explosions that made messes so bad we had to cut him out of onesies, and he was having the cereal daily for awhile.
As I was reading this post, I was going to tell you to speak to the director, so I'm glad you plan to. I am so not confrontational either and would be soooo uncomfortable if I was in your position. You aren't doing anything to put your daughter in danger, so your parenting choices should be respected and no one should talk down to you. I hope she backs off and leaves you alone.
Sorry for the novel! I get so mad when people try to either guilt new moms or give unsolicited advice.
Oh my, you and Melissa make me feel guilty for giving K an 8 ounce bottle every time (3x a day!) LOL along with foods.
But anyway, I would be LIVID and you are a much better (?) than I am. I would have gone off the first 5 times she said something. It doesn't matter who you are, YOU'RE the mama, and what YOU say goes. I wish people would realize this and stop giving unsolicited advice!! This drive me bat shit crazy!!!
That would make me mad too! You should definitely talk to the director. The nurse (never heard of a daycare that has one, interesting) isn't you or your doctor for that matter.
um girlfriend... i would have gone off RIGHT AWAY. Done it in a classy way, of course, but I would have shut her up from day one. You are just a much nicer person.
I can't stand people like that. That they think they know best.
Ugh. I'm fuming!
I'm mad reading this.
Good job on maintaining your composure, I would have lost my stuff with her.
There are just "some people" in this world and she is one of them.
The fact that your baby's teachers validated that is good. They prob hate her just as much.
I hope she get's an ear full from the Director.
Sooooooo glad you said that to her. And I really hope she STOPS asking you. She's lucky you don't have my attitude. You know best, don't ever let her make you doubt that.
What a crazy nut =) You are the mom and make all the decisions. Your girl is doing just fine and really, rice doesn't do that much. We give Iris oatmeal every morning but the girl still poops a ton!!!
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